On Thursdays, I address envelopes at the hospice center. These envelopes are going to people who have recently lost someone. Dr. Ellis, the Director of Grief services, likes to have the envelopes hand addressed, because it gives a more personal feel. Today, instead of the regular “address and stuff”, I had a little project that had to go immediately. It consisted of a letter and a sheet of paper that had to be tri-folded by hand before being put in the envelope. NBD.
For perspective on what I’m about to say, you need to know that I spent 38 years in the printing business, a great deal of it with companies doing top shelf printing, requiring an effort that gets as close to perfection as humanly possible. That said, as I’m folding these flyers and inserting them into the envelopes, I can’t help but notice that they aren’t all lining up the way they’re “supposed to”. After a couple of these, I caught myself getting irritated. Not because I was dong something wrong, but because I realized the image wasn’t imposed on the paper just right and that was why it wouldn’t fold correctly, and that’s why it looks horrible (to me), and I’ll bet nobody will pay any attention to what this flyer says, because the fold is so terrible. Any of that feeling vaguely familiar?
The fact is, 38 years ago, I was trained how to see printing the way it is, not the way it appears. That skill let’s a good printer deliver a quality product. The customer says, “Ooohh, Ahhhh” not really knowing why they think it’s “so beautiful”. It’s not a skill you can be without if you’re in the printing field, or I imagine many others. The thing is, I’m not in the printing field anymore. So I had to chuckle when I caught myself giving myself the third degree over something that at the end of the day, not one person is going to notice. No one. Ever. I’m not saying there’s not a time or a place, it’s just not all the time, everywhere. Ever. As I sat laughing at myself yet again, I started to wonder how much time I’ve wasted in my life trying to get something perfect that’s never going to be perfect? How many projects did I make someone else crazy over, because of my “idea” of what was acceptable? How many relationships have I soured because he, she, or they didn’t behave, say, or do what I thought they should? Do I try too hard sometimes? What do I do?
I don’t know what your answer is, but my answer is to get up everyday and remember what I am; dust. Once I get my head around my true nature, then I can properly give thanks for all the blessings in my life, and look at how I can make someone else’s day a little brighter.

Chapter 33 of the Tao says:

Knowing others is intelligence.
Knowing yourself is true wisdom.

Mastering others is strength,
Mastering yourself is true power.

I know that “the heart is deceitful above all things, who can know it”… but somewhere between not trying, and trying too hard, is a place where we can sit quietly, gather our breath and move the heart to a little more openness and compassion.

Thanks for listening